Thankful, in no particular order...

I think it is a good idea to make a list of things I am thankful for right now.

In no particular order.

1. all of my kids (that's like 3)
2. my kids' health (that's also 3)
3. my husband
4. my husband's health
5. all of my pets' health and them (that's like 27)
6. I have a home
7. I have money for food
8. I have a reliable automobile (because, with 3 kids that's important)
9. I can put gas in my automobile
10. I'm not poor (no offence to poor people. ..it's not better, just different)
11. I can be warm went I want to be warm and cold when I want to be cold
12. I have a rewarding job(s)
13. I am able to relax
14. I've been to Disneyland
15. For my mother
16. For my brothers, grandparents, neices, all extended family (to some extent)
17. That I don't have violence in my life (I see people who do)
18. That I have the opportunity to make a difference
19. That I have many amazing relationships
20. That I am able to love
21. That I am free from disease and addiction
22. That I like all my friends

I'll add more later...

In loving memory....

Sam Dyck September 19, 1953 - June 25, 2007

All at once, a thousand men
A partner, a father, a brother, a friend
Your time has come, it seems too quickly
Every smile, every laugh, now a cherished memory

Always a provider of love, solid and strong
Now it is we who stand tall as we try to move on
As we walk through our lives, we will search for your trace
And when we pause to grieve our dear loss, we feel your embrace

While life goes on, you exist in the lives you have touched
You constructed a circle where love is always enough
In your honour we remain, with our heads held high
And with you in our hearts, we look to the sky

Love you Dad!

Merry Christmas 2006!!!!!

So, Merry Christmas 2006!!!! What an eventful year!!! I don't even know what to expect from 2007. I'm thinking it'll be a "maintain the status quo" kind of year. But not the status quo of this year, but maybe the one before. Just continue muddling through doing what we've been doing with fewer ups and downs. That would be just fantastic.

Well, I best be wrapping up because guess who's coming over..........

SANTA IS!!!!!

My First Half Marathon!!!

Well, I arrived at City Park with the intention on meeting up with Karen and Mr. Karen before the race. When I arrived they were darting back home to pick up a forgotten Garmin (God forbid!) so I stretched and waited. And waited... They are calling the runners to assemble... And waited... and assembled. So I was going at it alone. That's okay. I had my tunes and was ready for a great run. I positioned myself strategically a little way behind the 2:15 bunny. Oh...and I had to pee. But I couldn't pee now. And off I went...

At about 3k, I see a porta-potty...should I stop? Should I stop??? There's a line up of three people. "Well," I figure, "there should be another one coming up here soon and maybe there won't be a line up." So my need to pee really kept me distracted for the first 5K or so - I hit the porta-potty on the second pass. So, totally take 2 minutes off my end time. That shouldn't count.

Now, I had not run the course before but I had looked at the map, and I do know Kelowna quite well, but I had really misread the map. I thought the bulk of the run was on Lakeshore, but it was moreso in East Kelowna. Anyways, this is all relevant because I had some relatives who were going to meet me on Lakeshore to cheer me on. I had arranged to call them when I crossed the highway or had an idea about when I'd be down their way - so if anyone saw a runner on a cell phone, yeah...uh...that would be me. I'd like to hear that message.

Anyways, things were going really quite well. I was feeling good (thanks to my Accel Gel - I freakin' love those!) for quite some time.

So, at about 16K, I started getting a bit itchy. The legs were getting a bit tired and because I didn't know what the course I was like, "where is the next turn off? Where is it????" Then, on Lakeshore, the turnoff finally came. And there was my family cheering me on and taking pics and I got a fantastic burst of energy at around 18K and I tried to hold back but then thought to myself that my goal time was 2:20 and I would kick myself if because I didn't give it my all that I just missed it. So I gave it my all!!! I was in the zone, passin' people, weavin' in and out. I had my Evanescence going and it was awesome.

For about five minutes.

Then things started to hurt.

So I walked a bit. Then I ran a bit. Then I walked a bit again. Then I ran. Then I finished!!!!! Clock time: 2:24:23 Chip time: 2:21:52. Ah well. Just shy of my goal. But hey! My husband got me a trophy and my friends and family were there and I had a banana and I went home.

My first half marathon. Yay me. :-)

(ahem)...a poem.

For An Angel

In all the world there are a million jobs,
A million things to do
But none of those could ever compare
To watching over a girl like you.
What God, what Universe could have such faith?
From the clouds beyond the stars
To trust me with the loving care
of the Angel that you are.
To offer you two arms to hug,
A shoulder for you to cry
Is an honour been bestowed on me
One I'd never dream pass by.
And even when the times get hard
When it seems my heart will break in two,
I'll only strive to reach ever farther
And give all I've got to you.
So when your mind betrays
And you feel it's too much for me to bear,
Know that there is no place I'd rather be
Than offering an Angel my loving care.

The Nature of Suffering

In Buddhist philosophy you are taught that suffering is the hallmark of existence. The first Noble Truth states that everything in life may involve disappointment and suffering. I think most of us try, in our lives, to avoid suffering. We assume that there is a state void of it. I think, however, if we tried to find someone who had enjoyed that state for more than a short while, we would be hard pressed to find such a person - at least here in the West. So what does this belief offer us? For myself, I have found that accepting that suffering is intertwined with all areas of life is freeing. It means there is no more need to question. Why is this happening? Why are things so hard? Why do I deserve this? The answers? You don't deserve it. It's life. The nature of the beast. Life is characterized by suffering. How many cliches exist to justify this? "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger," "It builds character," "Every dark cloud has a silver lining," and so on and so forth. We have sayings built into human language to help us cope with our day to day lives. Lives marked in time by events - the death of someone close to us, illness, and of course triumph. But, again, what is triumph without overcoming adverse circumstances? Suffering gives way to triumph.

I think that seeing suffering as part of the nature of life serves us in another way. It removes the suffering to give it its own place. This way, when times are hard we don't say, "life is hard" we can say that "suffering is hard" or "the suffering one experiences in this life is hard." Of course, the other three Noble Truths tell us that there are ways to eliminate suffering, by altering our own perspective, throwing away attachment, passion, craving. In a society built on such premises, it is hard to imagine leaving that all behind. But, in the meantime, we can accept suffering as a necessary and even appreciated part of life and, in this sense, cope with our own circumstances in a more positive way.

"Don't cling to anything and don't reject anything. Let come what comes and accomodate yourself to that, whatever it is. If good mental images arise, that is fine. If bad mental images arise, that is fine too. Look on all of it as equal and make yourself comfortable with whatever happens. Don't fight with what you experience, just observe it all mindfully."
-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana

"Afterglow"